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Reviews For: Faded - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

misswonderlnd
2008-04-07
ch 18,
Sorry this took me an eternity (and after all my promises and good intentions too!) but I'm here now and that's what counts. Okay, so I've started to take notes on things I want to comment on while I read your updates which is probably a little sad but here they go:
1. I really like that little scene with Rachel and Jordan at the train station, particularly the bit about how he is now a man and the view we get into the kind of person Jordan was before Enya. This is the first time we really get to know what he used to be like.
2.I would suggest going back and doing a quick edit (not that I can really say much on that front since I am the worst of the worse when it comes to editing). Only because there were a few words left out here and there and mixed up words and little stuff like that. No biggie
3. This is driving me nuts! You answer a few questions (like Peter, which I had been wondering quite a bit about) and then give me a bunch of new things to wonder about (the dude that visited Enya?) It is frustrating in the good way.

And quick question, did you plan your plot and everything before you started writing or do you sort of make up parts as you go along? I've always sort of wondered because personally I fit into the second category. This was a good long review :) Anyway, good job with the quick updating and can't wait for the next chapter!
misswonderlnd
2008-02-11
ch 17,
Wow. So. I haven't been on fictionpress since last summer. You should feel really special because you were the one, in fact, that convinced me to come back. I missed this story and fictionpress in general and I'm glad to be back. I just realized I didn't comment on the chapter before this one either. So, to touch on the previous one briefly, i LOVED, l-o-v-e-d, the section with the heart-to-heart with Enya and Jordan.
I was a little worried that Enya going emotional was going to be sappy but you did it well. I particularly liked the line about his openness intimidated her because I feel like you did well with getting her character there. The new chapter really has that feel of coming to a climax since there were bits and pieces of everyone's stories. Also, i thought it was interesting how even though everyone sort of knows what there was between Enya and Jordan no one ever really says it.
This gets the award for being the longest review, haha. So please,please,please don't lose interest in this story!!
dangelicessence
2007-11-01
ch 16,
YAY! AN UPDATE!

Once I dreamed about a 13 dollar bill.

Priceless. Absolutely priceless. Out of curiosity, have you ever dreamed about about a 13 dollar bill?

And guess what? For once, I have input! Aren't you shocked?! Sorry, I'm a bit amped up on Halloween candy. Yay, sugar high! Um...was I going somewhere with this? ... ... ...Oh yeah! Input. Right. In this little paragraph thing here,

I blinked a couple of times and took a deep breath and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I composed myself and tried to rid myself of the feeling. I closed my eyes and numbed myself. I inhaled and let myself become distant and let go of part of me that still felt.

all the sentences are short and begin with "I" consequently making them sound choppy and blegh like the dialogue in 300 except better with less screaming... Anyway. Yeah. I think that's it.

It's almost over?! I feel so excited...but sad too...and then excited again! Of course that could be the fifth Reese's cup coming out... Anyway. Good luck with the rest. I hope you update soon. I mean, I really, really, really hope you update soon. This was a short chapter. I want to know what happens to her...who it never occured to me is rich... Anyway. Update soon. I know I rambled. Sorry. Oh, by the way. What's in Sweden?
m.T.wHiSpErZ
2007-10-20
ch 1,
Wow, so nice to put a writer with the reviews... hmm, that doesn't have the same ring as a face with a name, huh? Nyway, Running desperately late, but luv what I read here. Enya's funny, my kind a girl. I'll be back. adios. Oh, luv ur writing style too!
CrowingShoopuf
2007-09-29
ch 1,
Wow! I'm hooked! you've opened this fic really well! I can't wait to read the next chapters!

CrowingShoopuf
misswonderlnd
2007-09-25
ch 15,
YES! I am rejoicing for 2 reasons right now- the main one being the fact that you posted a new chapter!! The second, I think I've got it. Yes, I think I've figured out something important! Call me lame, but I have started to write out this little chart/diagram thing so that I can try and keep track of what's going on and possibly figure something out, which is funny because organization has never been my strong point. Can't wait for your next update to test my theories!
dangelicessence
2007-09-25
ch 15,
MEEP! MEEP! MEEP! I thought you'd dissappeared off the face of the earth! This has completely made my day! I go to my email and bam, like emeril, there's Faded! WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!

...Okay enough of that. As always, pure brilliance though I can't say I'm not dissappointed by the shortnesso of the chapter. I WANT MORE! Sorry. I'll /try/ to stop whining^^. Anyway, there were a few techie issues like in this sentence

"I don't get why I can't just talk to her without having to make all these deals? Sheesh."

the first part really isn't a question so there's no need of a question mark. Then in


"I don't want you two hear when I do it."

you used the wrong 'here.' You know, trivial stuff that there's really no reason to bring up and their just there so that I can have something to say^^. Sorry about that. Anyway, I guess that's it. Keep on keeping on, update soon, the gerbils have friends, good luck.
misswonderlnd
2007-07-03
ch 14,
no kidding- sara seems like a genuine nut job. anyway, i liked this even though it was frustrating. I think what makes your story so addicting is that you never give anything away and each piece you do tell us is obviously connected in some way but we (being the readers) have no clue at all as to what that connection is. I could never write a story like this simply because I would get confused myself but it seems like you have it under control, kudos for that.
dangelicessence
2007-06-01
ch 14,
AT LAST! I was worried you'd become one of those people who up and decide, we'll that's enough of that, and never touch the story again. *sniff, sniff* You know not of what I've been through waiting for you. I had to--dare I say it--work on my own story. I was Faded-deprived. Anyway, to the critisism. I have none. No, seriously. This chapter was kind of short but it was fast-paced. Maybe I just missed something but am I supposed to know what's in the bag? I want to know what's in the bag. Sara interests me. Scott interests me. Everytime you introduce new charries it ends up really exciting so I look foreward to an update. Please hurry. Even my gerbils got tired of waiting.
misswonderlnd
2007-03-12
ch 13,
oh, suspense, where's the bag? I think there is certainly something weird going on with that Sara person and its driving me crazy! I'll take a look at that new story (i can't get enough of your writing as it is).
dangelicessence
2007-02-21
ch 13,
I.Love. This. Chapter. It was excellent and Enya had me cracking up. Howdy y'all. Wow. I'm cracking a rib just thinking about it. Anyway, as all ways, the chapter was excellent. There were the resident typos but it's gotten to the point that I really don't care so long as you keep up the good work. There was however one sentence that I didn't get

...he taught me about guns and be beat so that I wouldn't break.

Here I sort of lost your meaning. Aside from that, everything was great. As always, keep up the great work (though I daresay I don't have to tell you to do that) and I'll be waiting *anxiously* for the next chapter. XD.
Noir Fleurir
2007-02-18
ch 13,
methinks lizzie is a ;pser/ haha you used my high school name loserface i want PESH NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW lol umm yeah...go fishies the almighty one salutes EMPHASIS farewell
misswonderlnd
2007-02-04
ch 12,
Finally!! I don't think I could have waited anymore. Not to be too harsh because updated too often is borderline impossible. I was honestly wondering when reporters were going to get involved in this story so I am glad you started Sophie's character. Also, I'm glad we are getting more info on Enya's childhood but I am still extremely curious about what's happening with Enya/Jordan/Rachel deal so you'll have to update again- soon! Great as always- compliments upon compliments. Can't wait for the next chapter.
dangelicessence
2007-01-29
ch 12,
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! An update! Woo Hoo! I'll have you know that I was a hair away from e-mailing you to see what had happened. I was suffering from withdrawal (cut cut, angst angst). Hmph. Anyways, good chapter. I wasn't expecting this Sophie person so now you've provided another angle. I'm very excited. As always, your superior writing skills shine through. And this time I could only find on typo ^^. It is located in this sentance:

He indicated a man that was standing and talking to a blonde girl that was like at him like she didn't care.

Other than that, excellence. Oh crap late to class. Update soon.
Noir Fleurir
2007-01-24
ch 12,
you're a loser...wow...where's Pesh you doof? You know the character we invented w/ the fish name? Umm bum i thought you appreciated my ingeniusness to the fullest...guess it takes time good chapter by the way but you seriously can NOT spell to save your life...haha i love you too i suppose
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