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| Crossing the Rubicon 2006-10-19 ch 1,   | This is great and an idea I didn't expect to find on FictionPress. Perfect. |
| hey maria 2006-08-05 ch 1, | It's a very simple poem, but says a lot about growing up and facing the reality that there really is "no luck in this world." I liked this one a lot; great job. |
| SarahJaneDrkAngl05 2006-07-25 ch 1, | wow that was good! i loved it! its so beautiful. great job! ~SarahJane |
| rocket baby doll 2006-04-15 ch 1, | beautiful beautiful beautiful, such a wonderful simplicity, and in case you cant tell, i love it. :P |
| youzi 2006-04-07 ch 1, | i like the whole idea and the "story" of this piece because it is highly simplified yet emotionally mpactful..your almost un-poetic style of narration is also something unique--perhaps you could try prose-poetry? in any case do keep writing :D |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-03-28 ch 1, | This has a marvelous story telling feel. It creates such an atmosphere of mystery and superstition. Great write. |
| ik3tap 2006-03-28 ch 1, | //"A prose writer gets tired of writing prose, and wants to be a poet. So he begins every line with a capital letter, and keeps on writing prose." - Samuel McChord Crothers// I ♥ the quote. :p |
| forsakensmile 2006-03-26 ch 1, | I love the story-in-a-poem style. |
| elasticbobaturtle 2006-03-25 ch 1, | Beautifully told characters. Wonderful portrayal and such a nifty concept. Great stuff. Love it. |
| WestFullMoon 2006-03-25 ch 1, | O_O Just plain...wow. I find it really sad the jade was buried. *cries* And it's also sad that they hang the clouds around their necks. Keep up the fantastic work. |
| Wat 2006-03-25 ch 1, | i once had an orange jade necklace, but i lost it. and another piece of jade also. |
| chaos called creation 2006-03-25 ch 1, | The perfect ending. and apparently it is a disney show...-disturbed- |
| APersonAndAHalf 2006-03-25 ch 1, | That's really...awe-inspiring, for lack of a better word. I'm not sure what to say about it. I'm going to try and add it to my favorite stories list, though, if it will fit. Well done.~A. Person |