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| ashley m.c 2006-03-26 ch 2, | I am an English geek so the first thing I am going to say is: you have some small grammar and punctuation problems that are sort of distracting. Also, the dialogue seems a little TOO primitive. Lastly, there is alot of "showing" and not "telling." But I am interested in where it goes. |
| Ixchella Samara 2006-03-25 ch 2, | aww, poor alice! nice job. thanks for reviewing my story. |