I love it!! I really love that man so much. Why is she not happy, the ungrateful **? The Man of awesomeness needs her to keep the house in ORDER (I imagined that he shouted that for some reason) Made me giggle. I LOVE THAT MAN WITH ALL MY HEART. Please for the love of God keep writing.

Good work on it. This is a pretty interesting piece.

Cool!

interesting... can't wait for the next chap!

Weird...How did she get herself into this mess? Keep it comming!

Interesting.

I can't really place judgement. The style in which the chaps were written was kinda odd, but I haven't seen it before. Good work.

The story is getting interesting, I hope the girl doesn't die...*shudders*

Just please use quotation marks because it's hard to read without them.

I like the writing structure. It reminds me of the one used in 'Inferno'. A story, but in a poetry form.

The only complaint I have is that it's hard to tell the dialogue from everything else. Quotation marks might be a good development.

Thanks for reviewing, it means a lot to me.

I really liked this. It seems as if you captured the voice of the teller perfectly, like it wasn't really a story but more of a... stream of consciousness, you know?

Anyways, I really liked it.

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And I noticed that you like Tithe. Rock on. I almost met the author when I was in Amherst this summer, but I just missed her when she left for a trip. She found out and actually wrote me a letter and gave me her personal email address... cool, eh?

If you want to talk or something, email me; you seem like, well, not like a stalker or anything...

Okay, longest review ever.

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Yeah...

Derek

mm indeed quite interesting. cannot wait to see what happens NEXT!

Kind of wished you could better seperate the speakers...you know like using quotation marks or something.

Anyways this is interesting...would like to see more about the game and why Johnny wanted to play the game with her and so on...Great descriptions!

Interesting introduction.

Really gave me the impression that this was Johnny The Homicidal Maniac talkin

In my last review I stated something and it turnse out my computer is having major glitches. I am sorry for a wrong statment.

Excellent concept! There needs to be quotation marks to let the reader know that there is dialogue.I also noticed that the Default chapter or 1st chap is the same as the 3rd chapter. I'm not saying it is wrong, I am just a bit curious as to why it is like that.