this is really good i love the emotion, i have sort of poem when i went through depression its called i promised or something like that

Who are you trying to fool? You're a great poet! Or lyric writer. Because that's how I look at it, lyrics for a song. It's very emotional, especially the goodbye part.

this is really good. no, really

The rhyming seemed forced though. except for the 4th verse.

It's really good. Just try to flow with it though.

Great work! -Isabella22

interesting, the beginning was good but then you lost the rythm(sp?) of the rhymes. even so, it's interesting