You're continuing this right?

I think you should continue this.

Yeah... that's telling a writer to continue counts as constructive criticism. XD

Wow, amazing writing, i really like it.

Haha, yeah, thanks for the informative review by the way, you've made it so that I want to rewrite that entire thing, in fact, i think i will, lol

anyways, yeah, this is really great! i love the line:

"...they were two parts of the same soul, closer than brothers could ever be."

u put a lot of heart into ur writing. I on the other hand, am an amateur, lol.

Thanks again and keep up the writing, can't wait to read more of your work.

Nice story, but in trying to make the story dramatic and angsty with numerous metaphors and similes, you've made it boring instead. For example, "she had torn him apart, slashed his soul" might make a gripping ending or climactic statement. In your story, however, nearly every very other sentence has the same style, so the metaphor isn't effective at all.

Hey HL,Wonderful story. Although the ending leaves you hanging, it makes you really sympathize with the character. You also get that crawl up your spine, and you also think about your own family and what you would do if someone like that hurt you. The word choice was amazing and really added to the overall mood of the story. One small negative would be that the story didnt build as much as it needed to. i felt it needed a little bit more *umph*. Nonetheless, the story was fabulous and continue writing for us readers.

You know who this is