FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Promised Sword 2006-07-14 ch 1,  | abuseThis is a very powerful work. Props for rhyming--I don't see too much of that these days. However, I did notice a problem in this nearly-flawless creation of yours, namely, that sometimes the rhythm doesn't flow like it should; somnetimes there is one to few or one to many syllables. Otherwise, a very strong and unique work.I'd have to say that my favorite lines are: 'But you abridged my words and now they’re hardly my own And you just get better at lying every time you’re left alone' and 'Life is for the living and I’m sick of dying for your games' Excellent piece; keep writing, My Flawed Self. |
| Emmytastic gal 2006-05-21 ch 1, | abuseWHOA... I love this... agree with so much. This is so awesome, all your thoughts are so mature and deep. I especially like " And while I'll never really divorce this faith..." and "And all the sense eludes our dreams" It's so true. Very enchanting poem, I ADORE it! :) It's interesting to see the change in your style. Again, this is utterly amazing. keep it up & write on,-Em |
| Quinni 2006-04-29 ch 1, | abusei loved the line "but they kept feeding me titles until i forgot what it was all about"-it totally connected with how i have been feeling lately...this is a really great piece of work... |
| tanya 2006-04-11 ch 1, anon. | abusehey..i really like thing poem alot...its just perfect...good job!! |
| sleeping Pisces 2006-04-09 ch 1, | abuseLike you said, it speaks for itself. I come accross a lot of untitled works, and I think most people just think it sounds cool, but it really suits this poem. The flow in this was great, too. Well done. Peace, Daze |
| Cait Street 2006-04-04 ch 1, | abuseA-**-Mazing!Loved it!!You should have kept those two lines in, i'm sure they would have worked. Loved it soo very much! |
| Rachel-Jane Kensington 2006-04-02 ch 1, | abusePretty amazing! I can't even tell you how much I loved this. The rhyme scheme was perfect and the words just fell into place. Dazzalingly incredible!-aspen |
| fairEtales 2006-03-31 ch 1, anon. | abuseI had to review a second time cuz FP screwed up or something and didn't put in all of my review (?!?!). So anyway, I love how you made it untitled and then wrote, "But they kept feeding me titles until I forgot what it was all about." That really added something to it that I can't quite put my finger on. Really Really Really nice poem. WOWOWOWOWOW! Just simply amazing. One of my favorites for SURE! |
| fairEtales 2006-03-31 ch 1, | abuse"Life is for the living and I’m sick of dying for your games" |
| boys kiss girls 2006-03-30 ch 1, | abuseWow. Just wow. This is so great. I love how everything is contradictory. This is definitely going on my favorites. Keep it up. |