Great poem, Bronzeage!

Very beautiful; good flow.

My favorite part about this was the rhythm and rhyme scheme. You did a very awesome job. ) I loved the idea. I agree wholeheartedly with the point of the poem, and I also liked that it was short and to the point. The one line that seems a little out of place is "On the starting line for a race." I like the idea, but the rhythm is sort of strange. I'd just reword it a ltitle. That's in case you wanted some criticism. ) I loved it. High five!

great poem. i love the rhyme scheme and your descriptions. good job :)

dropsofjewpiter

This was really well written. I always have trouble naming characters in stories because living up to a name is really important. Great poem!