Clever, whimsical composition you have here. Keep on writing, Mothra.

Wow, I haven't seen shaped poetry outside a book in a long time. The structure is nice and solid, though I believe the dear on the last line might be a unecessary and jarring because you spent all the rest of the poem just dictating to open air and then suddenly you're addressing the reader directly.

Very interesting piece. It's abstract but it's perforated with little bits of concrete imagery and that makes it ever so delicious. It brings the phrase "poetry spiraling from the mind" to my thoughts. The poem describes the way how in a writing frenzy, words can just spill onto the paper and when you're done, you have to go back and read it all for what can seem the first time. Stream of consciousness. Beauty.

marie

I liked the last lines the best 'its innocence is rather catchy'. Your poem is what's rather catchy. Love.

reminds me of a riverhah.

murky and dirtyand those tapes you see from africa

where i will go one day and watch.try and watch.

Wow! I really like this piece. I've never thought about writing a poem about stream of conciousness in general... and I especially like the last stanza. Brilliantly done!