o, i really like the ending of this one, and the make up imagery, it's mad sweet and the concentrating image is my favorite, it was super intense and stood out in the poem, lovely job

I get a picture of a little boy interested in drag and messing around with his mom's make-up at times, and at others I'm not quite sure. like a flash into his future and back again. great poem. everything flowed very smoothly anf the format helped increase the mood of the piece.

the ending's rhythm is seductive and the words are perfectly placed. i love it.

wow i love love the imagery in this. so original and almost gross in some places. nice work.

damn, this is great. such vivid wild imagery. that never ends, the description keeps a merciless pace, and gets better and hotter. excellent. first-step flirtations, severed nerves flail, with february eyes. those are awesome pretty lines. i don't get the last one, but it sounds great anyway. maybe a reference to valentines day? or leap year. or rain, i don't know, but i like it. i love it with mouth. :) well done!

love, c.induced.

The moment I started reading this it felt like a rap, like poetry in motion. Loved the description of "your eyes," and the way that you play with assonance and alliteration. I can feel the sounds playing across my lips, and the rhythm and rhyme are amazing. You have to tell me, was it meant to be a rap?

P.S. Mucho thanks for the review!

I love your method of describing things. It makes it stand out. Nice job.

In the blood red colour,You found in the second drawerOf the cupboard-ah brilliant

reminds me of august and tinkerbelle.

it was really nice.

Interesting. This was a very strong visually evocative piece.. at some points I was quite creeped out and at others I was drawn into the erotic atmosphere. Very nice.

Different, very different. Well written and kind of dark in a strange way.

- Pricilla Grey

this is so well written! i love it!

monkey