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| RynDevien 2007-07-03 ch 1, | abuseWow... this is amazing. Really it's a perfect picture. The suggestion I usually give for short things like this is put it in a story. This could be in the point of view of a character. Seriously, I think I may just write this down in my book of random quotes if you don't mind. Great job! ~ Ryn |
| Mr. Raven 2006-04-06 ch 4, | abuseinteresting. is there more? change is inevitable. Mr.Raven |
| Jezsh 2006-04-05 ch 1, | abuseI like the tone to this. There is a critique I'd like to offer, which is that the sentences go on too long, which reduces their effect on the reader. The ending is really good however. Nice piece. |