Creepy! In a good way, though. O.K. Maybe ‘Good’ isn’t the right word. Hm. Well-written definitely, though! You never cease to amaze me with your vivid descriptions. Pure Brilliance! However; before you get too cocky, I will point out a few small errors. :) The one that stands out the most is how you seem to switch from the eeriness of the first part of the story to what is seemingly the past. You describe blood pooling around the merry-go-round, then, suddenly, the sun is shining. Then, the little girl is spinning happily, when you revert, without warning, to the spooky scene. Perhaps you could explain this be saying something like: In viewing this place of lost innocence now, you would never believe the joy that emanated from this place long ago. Then go to the scene with the little girl. When you go back to the abandoned merry-go-round, you could say something else to tell readers that you’ve switched. Well, I’ve written enough for now. I’ll send you an e-mail and tell you a couple of other things. You, however, were quite wrong. It does not suck. I believe you portrayed your message quite well. Very eloquent, well-written, vivid, and profound. I look forward to the next revised version. Oh, and my new story is up! Exciting, huh? I will talk to you later. :) ~Translucently Opaque

excellent imagery! im not quite sure why you've added in those mushrooms...the subject change makes the page choppy and i feel like the focus should be the marry go round from the beggining? well its just a suggestion. very well written.