beautiful.

I have to say your story is absolutely beautiful. I adore the way you can place images in your readers heads and the style of writing you use. Kudos to you and really pat yourself on the back for you did a wonderful job!


Mika.

Hey AsA,
I remember when you first showed this to me. I still like the moment the gunshots cut through the air because the reader knows, and you as the author don't even have to say anything. It's no wonder it won a prize.

that really moved me.

I like it a lot. I paused for awhile when I got to the gunshot part.

Hey, AsA! This is pretty good although I wouldn't call it 'less' morbid. . . the only comment I have is it seems out of place as a letter. Why is this man telling this elaborate story in a letter? It might be better just on its own, as a story. The story itself is really nice and well written, as usual. Yay! ^^