I LOVE THIS STORY. I literally cannot stop reading it! Great work! A few parts are cheesy but I enjoy that!

the last review that was anonomus ( think i spelled wrong) is mine

by the way there was a repetitive phrase in the 8th line that doesn't make much sense... Great story,though.

sorry, when i see something that messes up my brain from needing to re-read it again, my brain goes crazy, even though im not that good with grammar/spelling, myself...

hi !

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OMG, seriously update this. I want more!

WOHO! You finally got something down. I was waiting and waiting...It seemed like forever since you last updated. But, hey, interesting chapter! I wonder what's gonna happen...NEXT?

That was amazing. I simply loved this. Are you finshed? Cause' if you stopped there I'm gonna cry! It's really good.

I like it all...when are you goig to continue? Hopefully soon.

I enjoyed reading this , it was a lot of fun . I love the dialog between the characters and I enjoy the part of the end when Darius asked the question .

Even though this was tons of fun to read ( you have a great style _) I would advise changing the whole Finishing school sort of thing ( though it's done extremely well ) because ,well, it's been done SO many times before . Yah know , the typical kind of bad manners girl does one last thing and gets expelled . Perhaps you could still sort of keep it the same but change it up , yah know ,add a different twist to it .Like , oh , secretly the entire school is trying to provide the next generation of evil do-ers (lol) . But hey that's just my opinion and I know my story is just as filled with cliches during the first ,oh, 6 chapters ( it's in need of a desperate rewrite) .

But over all I enjoyed this chapter and will add it to my C2 .

M.

This is cute. I have to admit that I've probably read this same concept ten times on fictionpress. However, if you do it well, there's no reason that that should be a problem. After all, there's nothing out there that hasn't been done before.

I liked the foreshadowing there with Darius.

A few problems with your dialogue. The first one is punctuation. '"That's enough!" her teacher had finally found her tongue' 'Her' should be capitalized because it is a new sentence. It's correct not to when it's hte case of 'she said' where the speech itself is the object of the sentence.

Adverbs to tag dialogue. They're not always bag, but any time you have one, I would reread the sentence and think very hard if it really needs it or not. I'd say half the time it doesn't, or can be told better in a different way other than the adverb.

Good luck with this.

nice story! alder's description was a little bit of a give away and somewhat cliched. otherwise, i like the suspense. i'm waiting to hear how darius figures in the prophecies.

This story is fasinating, very interesting. I can't wait to read the next chapter. I know it'll just as great, if not even more. Fantastic job!