I really don't know how to respond to this. I write opinionated essays and such all the time and i just didn't know how to react to yours. i was a bit torn on the topic(owing to the fact that i am a teenager, i dat on and off and this does concern my age group). You mentioned emotion maturity of teens in this day and age, i can't completely agree or disagree.

Your writing is pretty decent. You had some grammar things and the transitions and flow could have been better , but that's something you can improve through practice especially i you have natual talent (ican't judge that from this piece but you seem to be a decent writer. My compliments to you for posting this b/c i know teens in my town would throw a fit if they ever had to consider giving up dating.

Most of the issues I have with the content of this essay have already been commented on by other reviewers, so I'll stick to the style. Reading this through, I thought it sounded a lot like a speech. If this is what you want, than it works well. As a written essay, however, there are certain things that seem a bit out of place, e.g. '...if you would ask me.' or '...I would say...'. The conclusion of an essay is normally where you would state your opinion, and the main body of the essay is where you would state arguments for and against the issue. Also the use of the 1st person, e.g. '...just because we are more doted on...', would never be found in a formal essay. Finally, if this is a formal essay, you need to keep to formal language. The word 'brat' should probably be phrased differently. On the spelling/grammar side of things, I would suggest that if you want to improve this particular piece of work, you go through each sentence to see if it makes sense. There are places where commas have been used instead of a full stop (e.g. the conclusion), and where you have not used full sentences ('Extremely unfair to label...'). It's clear that you have strong opinions on this particular subject, and your enthusiasm comes across well to the reader. A bit of re-structuring and re-balancing, and it could be a very good essay. :)

"In this conservative society, a relationship in your teens could seem devastating to the people around you"I have seriously NO idea how you came across that sentence. "a relationship in your teens could be deemed as a waste of time as they do not work out anyway" makes sense. Maybe even"a relationship in your teens could be seen as stupid" But... Your line? It's made of fail and loss I'm sorry to say maybe someone else could shed some light for me on how much sense it makes.

Line 5 "Since you are immature still" Still immature would be a lot more appropriate using "still" to end a phrase only looks good if you can do it

"Firstly, since you were ready to take on the challenge of a relationship, you have to be very mentally prepared of the day where your partner leaves you for good, and that requires a high level of maturity." Your point Einstein?

"If you were to say that teenagers commit suicide due to immaturity of not being able to deal with a broken relationship. I beseech you to open your eyes wider, look at the society of today, more and more “mature” adults are exploring the choice of suicide due to a broken marriage or even financial issues" SECONDARY SCHOOL NOOB DO YOU ATTEND IT? "More and more" Is seriously a work of literary genius, sadly i'd hope you would stick to "There is an increase in" So that normal people like me can understand it."If you were to say..", "If you say that" is much better even though it's simpler, please see the ending your phrases with "still" comment.

All in all a good essay right up to the first work .Well done.

1. What, as opposed to teenage gay relationships? :)

2. I'm not quite sure what you're doing with your style here - I get the impression you're basically a good writer, but you seem to be trying to do quite a formal style here, and it doesn't feel very natural: you might be better off writing in a more relaxed way, and letting yourself have fun, since it's not a Vastly Serious topic.

3. You could maybe handle the emotional maturity bits of the argument differently - there are always some people who get obsessed, start planning the wedding, &c, but for myself (and most people I know) teenagers don't generally take relationships that seriously; and those that do, better to get it out of your system now than be unable to deal later.

4. People who suffer from depression tend to have underlying problems with much more than just relationships.

5. Neglecting everyone else for a relationship is far from a specifically teenage problem.

6."some people might argue that all guys are physically needy whereas all girls are emotionally needy" Just because some people make sexist assumptions - here insulting to both genders - doesn't mean you have to treat them as if they live in the place most of us call reality. I think what you're trying to get at is teenage girls getting pressured into sex, but it's not terribly clear - see my next point.

7. There is a gaping hole in the centre of your essay, which I think most people (definitely most parents) would think of as the first issue about teenage relationships...do you want me to say it for you? - sex! Because you realise that when people worry about whether teens are "emotionally mature" enough to handle relationships, what they really mean is "omg my daughter is going to Meet Boys and Have Sex and end up Pregnant and Probably a Crack-** too". About the only reference you make to this is "whether you are able to control your physical needs till marriage", in the conclusion, which kinda skips out on a whole big important factor (and besides, teenagers having sex is a different issue from pre-marital sex, although I'll admit they share ground at times).

You make some good points about relationships, but you need structure and clarification to really make it flow. I would suggest that you start by outlining your points, and maybe elaborate a little on what you say, sort of a "Point/Counterpoint" or "Question/Answer" format. Putting both the argument and the counterargument so close to each other in the paragraph without a transition between the two hurts your points.

However, I appreciate that you realize that there are mature dudes and ladies who are teenagers, some who handle relationships much better than the adults do. Good thinkin'.