Reviews for the dying tree - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: the dying tree

alice is dying 2006-09-20 ch 1,	abuseGorgeous. Beautifuly done and extremely well written. This piece is...well...I suppose the only word that comes to mind is "powerful". This is a wonderful image you've managed to paint us. ♥ Alice
white to gray 2006-07-29 ch 1,	abuseAmazing from start to finish. The opening stanza had be drawn in, and this incredible sense of...growing overcame me as I read this. Truly inspiring.
the naked civil servant 2006-07-01 ch 1,	abusei feel feverishly compelled to analyse this with minute attention to detail and an existentialist, marxist, &psychoanalytic approach. it is WONDERFUL. i am still trying to assimilate my thoughts and reactions to this, but it is clear in my dazed blinded awestruck mind that this poem is of breathtaking gorgeousity and deserves many, mant more readings (in a saner, more awake state). gorgeous. simply... beautiful. the symbolism makes me cackle with joy that one-dimensional angst poetry is Not All There Is. X
Susie Mango 2006-06-23 ch 1,	abuseOkay, I really really like this poem, which is why I'm going to give you a lot of suggestions. Remember these are only suggestions. :cracks knuckles: Where to start? The first two stanzas are good so I'm not going to say anything about them. The third stanza could stand to be broken up more, so as to not slow down the flow of the piece. I'd recommend breaking after the 4th and after 7th lines and putting "i asked" on its own line to add some emphasis. On the 4th stanza I'd split it half but that's just a minor thing. On the 6th stanza I'd again break the last line off onto its own for better emphasis. On the 8th stanza it may be good to combine the first two lines, (the divide just jars the flow) it also may be good to break this stanza in half too. The 9th stanza again, break off the first two lines maybe and take out the "i whispered" that is in the first two lines. 10th stanza, the "already" in the second line seems out of place and the last line seems awkward, probably because the word "pads" seems so out of left field. Finally, the last stanza, I totally understand you are trying to finally tie everything together and bring it full circle, but the last two lines seem like over kill. Because of the repetition of the same phrase over and over again as the central theme of the poem it's already rather soundly tied together. That concludes my overkill review! Again you have an awesome poem! The imagery and theme is incredibly unique and you definitely seem to have your own special flavor.
Taltush/MeiMei 2006-06-01 ch 1,	abuseI like it a lot. The style is very interesting, and the how it's written, how I can visualize everything, is great.
in theory 2006-04-27 ch 1,	abuseMournful title, introduces the first stanza and links it up nicely. I like the "us ants, us atoms" part especially, it's delicate and you have to pick your tongue through it carefully. The whole thing makes me wonder how clear your memories of this are, or how much poetic licence you've taken. Not that it makes a difference to me, I enjoyed reading this (I can see a dustyvoice singing this). Nice work.
staticdistortion 2006-04-17 ch 1,	abuseAmazing imagery.The third and fourth stanza don't seem to fit with the style of the rest of the piece, though. The rest of it was beautiful.
Femme de Dieu 2006-04-12 ch 1,	abuseWow! Simply Wow! I kept thinking, "I hope this isn't a true story." I'm glad you put the footnote to ease my mind/heart. My favorite part was after daddy died and the small child whispered his words again...then "i watched the embers fade and held the image in my eyes, as the zephyr took hisahses to the west. destruction, i whispered, then decay" Excellent imagery of the child standing alone (or with siblings) after the father walked into the fire. Not truly sadness, but more awe-struck. So would a zephyr, a westwind, blow ahses to the west-- or the east? Just something to ponder. Beautiful, nonetheless...I love the word zephyr. So romantic, even in this setting. (Romance doesn't always connote love between consenting adults...) Wonderful! Just wonderful...
dress her up in fairytales 2006-04-11 ch 1,	abuseconstructive critism. to be honest, i really have no idea how to do but nonetheless, i really like this piece. it gives me the chills actually & you wrote some great lines. & to answer your question, 'your' refers to the one who started it. definitely not my step-mom.
Tipped 2006-04-11 ch 1,	abusedefinitely gripping; emotional. I like the repetition for emphasis on those great lines ("us ants, us atoms", new life, decay, etc.) very very well written :)
dollface and her cancer 2006-04-11 ch 1,	abuseThis is very - not uplifting, not inspirational, but something similar to it. Poweful, I believe. For lack of a better word. The change from a child to an adult is subtle yet evident, and the voice is strong throughout this. A pleasure to read.
breezy nostrils 2006-04-11 ch 1,	abusewow love love the symbolism in this, and yeah, god's pretty much dead in this world nowadays. at least i think so on any given day. so true tho. nice work.
faking closure 2006-04-10 ch 1,	abuseheh yes they are. again, i heart this, i actually like this a lot. one of your better ones. its quite sad tho, no? oh well, back to writing that essay i need to finish --Naomi
SilentStones 2006-04-10 ch 1,	abuseFascinating throughout; I was so entranced all through, just trying to figure out what it was about.Portrayed in such a graceful and enchanting way, this is added to my favourites list.

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