I have to confess the title made me giggle (a little) but this is interesting, you present such a complex picture of both you and this other person - you don’t care what you do as long as others don’t find out, but even on that ground your shaky. I get the sense that you like the way you are but that you want others to like you to. And this other person is interesting as well - the complexities of all of this could be interpreted several ways - I like the parts about your hand falling off if you touched them, and tearing up the pictures. There’s nothing blasé about masturbation, everyone does it (it‘s healthy, and a safer option to sex) if people tell you that they don’t they’re lying.

Juliet.