Reviews for Tears for the Sun

Reviews For: Tears for the Sun

Morwain 2006-04-26 ch 1,	abusethis is rather good even though i'm not too fond of formatted poems
Steppenwoelfin 2006-04-21 ch 1,	abuseI like this haiku because I think that it shows ambiguity - Willow being spelt with a capital "W" so that it can be interpreted as the name of a person, not only as a tree.
McQuinn 2006-04-14 ch 1,	abuseI loved it, but I think the Author's Note kind of...cheapens it. It's like...by writing this haiku, you're giving us pieces to a confusing puzzle, and you're daring us - "Go ahead; try to solve this!" And immediately after you've given it to us, you solve the puzzle yourself. I love haikus that are left cryptic - those are the kind of haikus that a reader can truly appreciate. So my first word of advice is to delete the Author's Note. I mean, I get that you want your readers to understand your meaning behind the haiku, but why not let us derive our own meanings? My second bit of advice is the second line - I did the whole syllable thing at least 10 times over, and I still can't make out 7 syllables. Am I wrong? If I'm not, there are alternatives. For example, "The grey shroud blankets her love." Or something less specific. Thirdly, I forgot to mention how cool this is. "Tears For the Sun" - great title. By reading just the title, you've already given the reader a dose of imagery. It only gets better from there. If you have any questions regarding my feedback, please feel free to contact me. Otherwise, I'll enjoy reading the rest of your work. Great job, and please continue. -McQuinn
RuleroftheSmokyTavern 2006-04-13 ch 1,	abuseGreat! Haven't read your others, but I will soon. Try to make the middle line 7 syllables 'stead of 6.
sylvia's syndrome 2006-04-13 ch 1,	abuseI agree with you: this does have potential. But it needs some proofreading. For example, willow doesn’t need to be capitalized, you need a space between the words shroud and blankets, and line two only has six syllables, not seven. Other than that, this has a nice message and some very nice imagery and diction. Keep up the good work!
Quiet Man 2006-04-13 ch 1,	abuse"I my not like Haiku, but this, this was nice. Thanks" Quiet Man
happypills03 2006-04-13 ch 1,	abuseokay.. i don't get it .. but good work
k. iris 2006-04-13 ch 1,	abuseoh, that's really sad...cryptic? hmm..is she crying because she can't express her emotions, her love for someone, or maybe something? that's what i got from 'a shroud blankets her love...' : k.iris :

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