Please continue. This is a very good story.

Vennela

I think what's most powerful about this story is everything that's not said, especially in the first chapter. The description there is beautiful and all of the hints of what might come later concerning Nimue and this mysterious Barron. And did I read this right? Gwenivere and Lancelot are sibilings? That should make things interesting.

I get the feeling in later chapters that you're bored. It's all important stuff and it has to be written, but it's boring background for where you want to go. I don't really have a suggestion on how to get rid of the boredom, but I feel as though in your rush to get this over with you've left out some stuff that might help the depth of the story, like why is the high king dying? Is he an old man, or is it something else. What was the purpose of Igraine marrying Gorlois. Where is Morgause and where does Gorlois hear the rumors from and why is he so quick to believe them after 17 or a peaceful marriage? Also, how long after the introduction is the rest of the story happening? I'm assuming a year because the very beginning about Arthur being two years younger than everyone else, but it sounds as though it's been longer.

I've noticed that you haven't updated in a while, and I'm begging you to do so. This is a fantastic story and an amazing retelling of the Arthurian legends and this site needs more of those.

Where's Morgan?

Katy, you did a wonderful job on the story. It was packed with tension and suspense that just seemed to draw me deeper and deeper into it. I really enjoyed the way you described the characters with such description. I could almost create an image of what was going on. Though the ending was not so pixel perfect and happy, it was still extremely well writen. Once again, this story was just simply fantastic !! I would love for you to continue on with this story! * -> Five Star ... EXCELLENT =]

This was really good, I am myself a King Arthur legend writer, although I haven't published the story I'm writing about him yet. It's still stored somewhere in my hardrive-and parially in my mind. I like your description, add a sense a realism to the story, you can actually visualize the novel in your mind. This is what makes a great novel. A piece of advice, try to retain the legend with the minimal amount of magic, as everyone has heard the magic side of the legend, but how about the realistic side of the true historical Arthur, who was so grand, inspired magic to past Grail romance writers.This is how I am tackling mine.

Keep it up,

*Pe@cE*

-J.D.

P.S. Gwinevere, is spelled Guinevere. It is a Welsh epithet Gwenhwyfar, translated meaning White Phantom. Perhaps this can help you in your novel, with symbolism and methaphors.

Interesting, well written, Maiara. I've always appreciated Arthurian legend and found yours to be both frank and beautiful. Your integration of your own elements into the story makes reading it fun, rather than the sometimes repititive style of Arthurian stories.Your writing is well crafted and very vivid and descriptive. If I may, my suggestion is that you may want to place it under the mythology section where it will be better appreciated.

Please don't stop writing on this one.