|Reviews for Life Was Like a Photograph|
| Crescendoesque 4/15/06 . chapter 1
Very nice story. Take a minute to proofread, I saw a couple of grammatical errors.
"I jogged up the steps to the front porch, carefully avoiding the spots of throw-up."
Perhaps you could change 'throw-up' to a different word like 'vomit'.
"I stepped onto the porch, pushed open the screen door, and stepped into a whole other world."
You've used 'stepped' twice in the same sentance.
"I reached the stairwell and weaved in and out of couples leaning against the banister, exchanging saliva."
I love that line.
Good first parapgraph; I like the description.
We don't know your teacher; we don't know her personality. There's no indication that she's "cool" or "hip" (though it would be in a sad way). If you're trying to imply a personality, make it clearer. If not, change that to something more somber, more teacher-like.
Other than all that, very touching. I like it a lot.