Reviews for The King's Legion

Reviews For: The King's Legion

monkey kruncher 2007-03-09 ch 1,	abuseWow! This is fantastic! I love the characters so far. I want to know more about all of them and their world. Please, please, PLEASE update soon, for I would like to read more of this story.
Prisoner-11 2006-06-19 ch 1,	abuseAw...I wish there was more...T.T You'll update soon wont you?
Fallen Angel 2006-06-02 ch 1, anon.	abuseThis is one of your best yet. I want you to keep on writing, because i clearly see talent. do not squander such a thing, you will go far. This a quite a good read, and i praise you on it. i go on my knees before you to keep on writing. and update this, for i find a liking to it. the story is shaping up. keep the charater, and the dilemmas of each charater in check. i will be looking forward to your next chapters. ^-^ Fallen
tmelange1 2006-04-22 ch 1,	abuseGreat beginning. Hope to read more soon.
chellziez 2006-04-21 ch 1,	abuseHey, just a few things, nothing major, I think you could change. In the first two paragraphs, you use the word 'I' a lot. I think you could replace most of them with something different, say 'my jaw was clenched' 'my stomach felt sick' that kinda thing. I'm not saying cut out every single 'I', just change the sentence structures around a little bit so it doesn't seem too monotonous to readers. Another thing, in one of the sentences you write "He would still be alive as they killed him." which really doesn't make any sense at all to me. A person needs to be alive in order to be killed. Maybe something like "He would still be alive as they slowly drained the blood from his body..." kinda thing. But apart from that, it's a really well-written story and I can't wait to see more!
SerialXLain 2006-04-21 ch 1,	abuseI love you and I love your writing. It's always so good and I can tell I'm going to like this. Cliffies suck, man XD Love xox
Chicanery A. Beguile 2006-04-18 ch 1,	abuseI think this one will work. This is a nice start. Write more!
turtlechow 2006-04-16 ch 1,	abuseWow, I'm impressed. I've got to love the plot line thus far, and I definitely enjoy your style of writing. YOU MUST KEEP WRITING THIS! (Oh, and I know how it is to keep starting over; I've redone my novel 7 times now for reasons concerning better plottage. Sometimes, it's just easier to rewrite; just don't do it excessively like I do... @_@). Oh, and I did find two typos: there's a random quotation mark at the beginning of a paragraph that begins with Va'Rai's narration and a misspelling of the word "should" (you spelled it "sould"). But I forgive you; nobody's perfect. I just pointed them out in case you wanted to fix them. Other than that, everything was splendid; the piece has good flow and a very interesting plot (as previously mentioned). Keep up the good work, or as my favorite shirt in the whole wide world says, "Write On!"

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