wow, are you a Christian by any chance? anyways, good poem, pretty straight forward and i like how the tune and the mood changes in the end. great poem.

-Lucifer Leviathan

another awesome peom

I like your style it is very honest and straight forward.

Keep up the good work,Sejse

Wow! Remarkable message. Let your light shine. Awesome write.

You're right, it didn't ryhme. I didn't know the Budha promoted sin; oh, that filthy Dalai Lama.

:):

Message was very clear. Well write. Dang that sin

Oh. Ok. Just trying to help.

:)

I think the message is clear. But I'm not sure what 'It will get you out it that' is saying. Besides that i think it's great.

It's kind of confusing. I would fix up a couple of the lines. Such as "It will get you out if that" and "Cept that Christ they call Him". Maybe I'm an idiot but I don't know what you are talking about during parts of this. I mean, I get your general idea, I just think it could a great peom it it was fixed up a little. What I do a lot is write a peom, and then rewrite it, and then sometimes rewrite it again. A lot of times it ends up completely different than it was origonally. This is a good first draft, but should definetly rewrite it. -Insane Rassbery