I like it. It's really deep and it's completely true. I love the flow and the comparison of the happy beginning and the sad ending. I'm very impressed that this was your first poem! Keep writing!

i liked it. its got a nice flow to it. all in all i thought it rocked (you sure this was your first poem?). write on.

This is a really fantastic poem, and considering how nutty you normally are it is A+ and ye...brill :D

I think this is good - the contrast reminds me of the style of a diamont (sp?) poem. You wrote this very descriptively, and the comparisons are beautiful.

Whoa. That was deep. Very good. Its all true. Been there. You have a great way of expressing the truth.

wow first poem and I REALLY love it! It flows really nice.

It's very lovely. Every poem is lovely in its own way.

And thanks for reviewing my poem. ^^ I cant wait to read more of your poems!

Wow, in a strange way that's a really beautiful poem. I really like the images that you give of first being in love and then the rejection given by a lost love (at least thats my interpretation). I like the way that it's presented on the page, i think that the coming together of the lines, close and then distant could be really symbolic of the relationship itself, is that intentional? All in all good poem and i can't wait to read more.