The format you used--first person, directly addressing the audience in the form of a soliloquy--has the volatile potential to become very whiny. You've sidestepped this beautifully. While still remaining true to your feelings (though I hope they're not quite this intense), you've managed to retain a relatively composed air while relating this. The interjection of emotion is just enough to conjure empathy from your readers without being obnoxious or just plain silly, which is a difficult thing to do--I commend you. And, as I said before, I empathize; in fact, reading this felt like glancing into my own past diary, at points. And I hate to give unasked for advice (and even more to sound like one of those guidance counselors who just spouts Dr. Phil/etc), but I know where I'm coming from with this, having experienced similar events: you've acknowledged what you don't like about yourself, and expressed a desire to change it. That's the hardest part. Kudos, and much love and luck.

(And thanks for the review, of course!)

Emer

Wow. This is so honest and...real. It's beautiful. I really like it, and I would LOVE to read more.

Related to this so much. Feels almost like you could've been writing about me. Definitely going to go read the rest of your stories!