|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| SweetWithUncertainty 2006-04-23 ch 1, | abuseOh yes, the first chapter. I love it. Not cuz it "has" me in it, thats not the case at all. But I know the story, and I think this is a good beginning. Love,SGim not putting my real name, just for ur info. |
| Faithless Juliet 2006-04-20 ch 1, | abuseYou have a lot of details about this girl crammed into a lot of uneventful paragraphs - and I don’t mean that to be mean, but there’s not much going on in this. I feel like you added to much emphasis on how she looked, or how you think she looked, sometimes too much detail about physical appearance makes the reader see less of the character then more. Subtlety is often the best choice when describing our characters looks, where as you can never have enough about their personalities. Your summary was interesting, I’d hoped that you would have had more of that storyline in this section, but maybe next time, keep up the good work. Much love,Juliet. |