Reviews for Uncried Tears - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Uncried Tears

Carmel March 2007-08-15 ch 4,	This is a wonderful, wonderful story so far. I love everything from the interesting, likable characters, to the clever storyline, to the writing style you use. I realize that you haven't updated in, well, a long time, but I'm still going to hope for more :) ~Carm~
Flatlander 2006-10-11 ch 1,	Quite impressive again, JC. You never fail to impress me. It's almost impossible to remember when you were my classmate and you wrote like...well, like you did. Hot damn, man. I also like how you pulled a twist on Thermodynamics with the magic stuff.
Olivine 2006-09-25 ch 4,	firstly: YAY! YOU UPDATED! secondly, there were barely any mistakes at all- just some grammar im not sure about but i really dont have a problem with. thirdly, that little battle thingy with ciras and the minister was awesome. like i said before, im glad they didnt use swords. if they did, it probably would get on my nerves, because pretty much every other story i read that has something to do with battles or whatever, even if theyre fantasy, end up being sword fights. its actually pretty irritating after a while. but yeah. theres what i think about sword fights. theyre really not bad, really, i mean if i was reading the best story in the world (...in my opinion, that is) and a sowrd fight just popped up, okay, i could deal with it, but id just about drop dead if you put a sword fight in your story when its very clear you can do much better than that, like you have in this chapter of this story. okay. i swear, im done with my sword ramble. haha :) anyways, what else was i going to say..? hm. there was something. i dont even remember. wow thats annoying. im sorry, its monday, okay? my brain's not functioning properly, unfortunately for you and the four other people in the world who pay any attention to me. okay, i lied. SIX other people in the world who pay any attention to me, not counting the other authors i review. but thats besides the point of this review. yeah, this was a great chapter, and i wish youd get them up more often, for this story and your other ones, too. you know what? i really feel like raising somebody's self confidence today. so i pick you! okay, so im a complete romance-addict. the few stories ive read without any romance is the junie b. jones series when i was like in first grade, and some books by lois lowry. there are probably some other ones, too, but i cant think of any right now. anyways, on fictionpress, i read almost anything that looks good from the romance section, and pretty much all of it is like set in the present, and the characters are all in highschool, and everything. those ones are good, but those ones are always so... dramatic. like, itll be fine the first few chapters, and then all of a sudden somebody dies and the girl goes crying into the guy's shoulder, and i think 'what a bunch of crap' and go read something else. i cant even find that many good fantasy/romance stories, either, because it takes too long for the girl to meet the guy, or half the story is without the guy because one of them has to go through this weird world or quest or whatever to get to the other. which is annoying. so i like yours because the girl was there in like the first chapter (not counting the prologue, because that really doesnt... count. it was an introduction), and you can already tell he likes her. so i like your stories because theyre not completely focused on the romance, so that something dramatic happens and the world is going to end, but the romance is a sort of side thing that goes along with the story and the plot and everything. it just works. i might seem a little insane to be saying this so early in the stories, but i can tell theyll be something else. Kingdom Hearts is an awesome game, by the way. both one and two are. i kind of like the first one better, because the second one got confusing with ansem being a heartless or nobody or whatever he was. i love the different worlds- my favorites are pirates of the caribbean (NOT because of johnny depp, like people think. just because im a girl, doesnt mean im in love with him and orlando bloom.) alice and wonderland, halloween town (awesome movie, too), and the hundred acre wood, even though thats sort of not a world. but still. i love tigger. haha. evanescence is pretty good. ive only heard a few songs by them, but still. call me when youre sober, and bring me to life are the only ones ive heard, and theres probably one more- whatever they play on the radio- but theyre really good. yahoo messenger is awesome, its the only way i can keep touch with my cousin, since shes someplace where im not (like im telling the world where i live, haha), vampires are good, too. especially in Twilight and New Moon, both by Stephenie Meyer. I know youre a guy and all, and i know guys my age dont like that kind of stuff (it is romance, obviously) but you actually might like it. you might. not sure. i dont know, i dont know you. anyways, as far as goths go, theyre kind of cute. the guys, i mean. other girls think that guys with eyeliner (im trying not to stereotype, but the goths in MY school wear eyeliner- them and the emo-skater people) look terrible, but theyre not bad. i admit, its weird, but i cant really say much since i dont wear makeup. (so are you enjoying my response to nearly everything on your profile page...? okay i admit, ive got nothing better to do with my life right now. sorry if im bugging you.), and i got an iPod for my 8th grade graduation, some months ago. i honestly didnt want one that badly, but its a neat little thing. i listen to music sometimes, from it, when im trying to sleep. but yeah. i dont like math, either. im one of the smarter kids in the class, but thats only because my mom kind of sort of pushes me hard in my studies. but whatever.you know, its more like 20% guys on fictionpress. i could name five at the top of my head- Godly Luke Staden (you should read his poetry, hes on my favorites list), Scrunchy, Benevolent Inferno, Aerials05, and sterlingdouglas, even though i dont read sterling's work. so there. :p haha yeah i know im cool :Dit IS hard to get inspiration. i never get inpiration for story ideas or anything. only a few of them that im even able to come up with make it as stories, and its kind of frustrating. im not that creative, am i..? i still love the stories i stopped, too. even if theres something majorly wrong with them, which would be the reason why i stopped them, i love them. "Because if you become ad(d)icted to reviews and lose reviews slowly, you lose writing." very wise, o great mekiah. haha. well, youre right, and it is true. once, i got only one review on a chapter of my story, and then the next time i updated, i got seven or eight. so yeah. and my most FAVORITE part of your entire profile. the part where you thank me. :D youre welcome, mekiah. lol.and i agree with that quote at the bottom. faith has nothing to do with anything. its like putting faith in things that arent there, like religion and gods. i personally dont believe in religions in general. none of it makes sense. thats why i think hitler was wasting his time, there. the stupid idiot. well, yeah, thats it. keep on writing and please, try to update soon! --Ss.
erised the tainted 2006-06-05 ch 3,	you better update justin... or else i'll have your hide... again. XP nice cliffie though. XD
Olivine 2006-06-02 ch 3,	heh... sorry. seriously, the only reason i changed my name was because i was on a 7 day vacation, had absolutely nothing NOTHING to do, nothing to read, etc... so i changed my name. -shrug- just call me either mauree or renaee if you want to. spell it wrong for all i care, lol. but is that why you havent changed my name on your profile?? because you liked 'wintertigress' better?? okay, my story's still going around?? ...uhm... going around where?? well, now we're getting somewhere. so hes about to duel this minister... thatll be interesting. especially if they DONT use swords, or something like that. well, we'll see whatll happen... so tarot cards are pretty much illegal in this world/story/whatever one you want to call it?? wonder why... i found some more errors. they were more puncuation than spelling, though, but actually, i dont think there were any spelling errors. remember this, though: when you use quotation marks (" "), right before you go into quotes, there should be a comma, although that rule is flexible, depending on what the sentence is. ex: The minister stopped in his speech(,) "You..." yea, im not gonna write the whole thing out, but you get what i mean, right?? when youre writing a sentence where whatever it is youre writing is going to... follow through, i guess you could say, with what the person is going to say, then you use a comma. if not, you use a period. example of period use: 'This argument was giving me a headache, by now. "Why did you stop?" she continued...' no, this wasnt from your story, i made it up, because its friday, and im not about to hunt an example down. but im trying to help, still!! but, yea, you see what i mean, with this?? the other then was that you usually didnt put a comma or quote (respectively) before the quote ended. ex: "I will order an immediate killing in this room if another man speaks” here, there shouldve been a period after 'speaks', because no other words in the sentence was following through after that. haha, i hope this is makeing sense... i usually dont, sometimes. im sorry if its not, though... the other thing i saw with puncuation was that you didnt put periods at the ends of your sentences. well, you didnt most of the time, at least. i wont put an example for that, because i really dont think you need one. besides all that, i think you did a good job on this chapter. in only two chapters, not counting the first since it was more of a prologue type thing, you established cira and saira's personality and character very well. right now i can tell that cira is pretty stern (that may be too strong of a word, though) but hes all for whats right. and saira's also for whats right, but shes a little more... bubbly?? yea. bubbly. but that might be too strong a word, too. tell me if im wrong about that, though. please and thankyou. and in a third, i think, of just this chapter, we could see how forceful and stern (this time i dont think thats too strong a word) the minister is. probably not very kind, either. but i think you get what i mean, lol. great, great job. now is there anything else i want to say...?? oh, yes, one more. youve got me on your favorite authors list?? thats great, but have you actually read anything of mine?? besides the first few chapters of a story the silver wind tells, i mean. and i hope im not just there because i put you on my list. im just making sure. k, this is a long enough review. keep on writing ~~MWRenaee-:\|:-
JCMah 2006-05-21 ch 2,	Great story! I really like how you explained some things about the setting without "infodumps." Nice and philosophical. Keep writing!
Calixta Deus Milano 2006-05-17 ch 2,	you better update this... else it'll be your hide on my new wallpaper. [insert evil laugh here] XP! i like the prelude... X3 here's hoping that this one won't collect the dust... and i'm serious.
Olivine 2006-05-10 ch 2,	ooh, i really like this story. i think its your best yet!! ...heh, of course ive only read a chapter. but im really interested in this one. mainly because of all these rules youve put in, like the sky changing color, and the stars and the moons (although thats not exactly a rule, i still like that) and everything!! lol, you havent even gotten into the real plot yet, and i want you update really quickly. maybe its because its fantasy. i like fantasy. will this have any horror, or... anything, like your other stories?? random question, yes, but i was just wondering. okay, all that being said, ive only found a few errors. the ones i actually remember are first, "Seventeen might be young for toher but here in Valen, only a few even reach Thrity." you misspelled 'thirty'. and then towards the very end, "She pointed out the window" there was no period that the end of that sentence. thats all i found, little tiny minor miniscule things that could be eeasily caught by carefully proofreading. ph, wait. i just noticed the two sentences before that one didnt have periods, either. btw, i remember you saying before in a review to me that you printed out a story the silver wind tells for something to read while still looking for a book. did you really get around to reading any of it?? another random question. sorry. im really full of them. speaking of randomish questions, i dont get it. i mean, ciras was disgusted because of the dress?? was it too revealing, or something?? the wway you described it, it seemed fine to me. keep on writing and update soon!! ~~M.W. Renaee-:\|:- ps -- uhm, ive taken your other story out of my favorites list. and added you as an author in my favorite authors list. :)
Olivine 2006-04-21 ch 1,	yupp, tis i, wintertigress. ive changed my name, i think i like this better. anyways...look!! two other people got here before me!! :D and ive also noticed you changed what you said about reviews. :) youre really funny, you know that?? anyways, i looked at your reviews, and i gotta admit, i agree with what juliet said. not so much with the "you may ask" part. that didnt bother me. (mostly because when you said 'saiga' i was like 'whats that??' so that did work for me, lol) it was more of the 'that person is I'. that really isnt grammatically correct, but all that needs is the 'i' replaced with 'me' and itll be fine. like they said, "I was that person" or "I am that person" could also work. but i liked how you went about writing th prologue. you did an awesome job, there, and even though ive only read the prologue, ive got a feeling thisll turn out to be a really great story. so update soon!! (and what about that short story thing?? haha, i hope im not bugging you about it, but i was sort of hoping to see some short stories from you. i thought that would be nice.) keep on writing ~~M.W. Renaee-:\|:-
Kelenariel Khelekkir 2006-04-21 ch 1,	Sounds like the main character of a fiction book coming to our world. I like this introduction. It's very philosophical--the kind of opening that makes the reader think. Like another reviewer said, the "you may ask" part is sort of canned. There are some grammar errors as well(not the "that person is I" one--that one is correct because is is a be verb, which requires the pronoun to be in nominative case), but those are the only criticisms I have. Update soon! This is a good idea.
Faithless Juliet 2006-04-20 ch 1,	I loved your summary; it was like the blurb off the dust jacket of a bestseller. “We are imperfect. In the least amount of words, that is how I describe my race.” I love how you opened with that, very strong opening line, it really grabbed me and put me in the mind set of the character as well as clues to the actually mood of the story. “I am what one used to call a Saiga. A Saiga, you may ask?” I see this a lot of fiction posted on the net, where your narration is like the prologue to a movie or TV show. When you say something like: “A Saiga, you may ask?” It feels weird because we haven't asked yet, we (the reader) don’t know anything about this race of people, you have laid the clues but we still don’t have enough of the picture to ask yet. The diary-like quality of this first section is stunning when it comes to it’s sci/fi/fantasy origins and very strong in the fact that I can HEAR this character; but the whole telling us a story format doesn’t really do it justice. Maybe if you started it with a flash back of this character learning what he is telling now, or going over the events that surround the beginning of this story in his head as a prologue type opening, or even transferring it fully to a journal entry. “That person is I.” Not grammatically correct - that person was/is me - or - I am that person. All in all this was an interestingly short read, like I said I loved your narration and the presence that this character has on the page. Keep up the good work, and update soon. Much love,Juliet.

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