FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Raina 2006-04-22 ch 1,   | Well, it certainly is.. interesting. But you could make it better by adding clarity or spacing it out. Seriously, one big paragraph is not fun to read. The story is frenzied in a way that will bewilder and put your reader off. Not make them think, as postmodernism is supposed to do. (Which, judging by your summary, is what I'm assuming you were trying for.) Keep writing! -Raina |