FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| retarded.in.love 2007-11-17 ch 21,  | abuseLoved the story. I couldn't stop reading it untill the end. You did an absolutley fantastic job on this story =D |
| Alyra Myst 2007-05-01 ch 21, | abuseReally good story and good idea, but it had a lot of mistakes, both spelling and grammatical. I think you should have at least one person read through a few times on each chapter before you post to try and catch those mistakes. I liked the characters and everything, it was really good. It just would have been better after some corrections |
| xoxo1 2007-04-29 ch 21, | abuseO.M.G. one of the best stories ive ever read! its FANTABULOUS! im off to read the sequel |
| False-Facade 2007-04-08 ch 9, | abusei love the way you used the movie slither in your story you know the way there vomit burns it was a very good idea love the story =) |
| Weather Mage Frost 2006-10-21 ch 5, | abuseDude, you never told me it was like this! I like it! It's like Resident Evil Kinda! It's cool. I'm copying and pating it all, and then I'm going to print it off. Ok with you? |
| WrittingIsMyDrugOfChoice 2006-09-04 ch 2, | abuseYour story rocks, but you might want proof read and edit a little bit I see alot of mistakes. |
| Jesse Pelletier 2006-06-25 ch 1, | abuseHey, zombiedog001, if you don't mind, can you read, my "Temptations" under Horror and tell me wha you think. I love your work too by the way :D |
| Mephistophelian 2006-06-19 ch 21, | abusewow...just wow. What else can you say? This story is amazing! 21 chapters...that's a lot of work. I just want to say that it was worth every moment. I love this story! The ending was absolutely perfect, completely satisfying. I won't lie...you had me worried. I guess that it's over now, but I do have a few suggestions if you were considering editing it. The biggest thing for me was the 'suspension of disbelief', some of the reactions of the students were a little hard to believe. The main thing that bothered me, it's kind of trivial, but, they were never actually called zombies. I don't think. I mean, teenagers are pretty into pop culture...and they'd probably at least guess what they were. There was a lot of 'what is this thing?' It's a zombie, man. Secondly, instead of just running around inside the school in the beginning, why didn't they just run outside? Even if they were looking for eachother, it might have occurred to them to run to someone outside the school for help. And even after the doors were welded shut, they could have broken a window. Most teenagers today also have cell phones, and so they could have called for help. And if cell phones were confiscated, they would have been in the same room as the gun. Besides some long paragraphs, and the fact that Sally was never actually introduced, that's it! Please don't be put off by my review, I just wanted to point out some plot holes. I'm only being nit-picky because I think this is awesome! You can really tell you're a Silent Hill fan. This is definately a gem in the rough of fictionpress' horror genre. Thanks so much! -Mephistophelian |
| Shiranui Akatsuki 2006-06-18 ch 21, | abuseAh ha ha ha! Yay! Perfect ending! I love perfect endings! Can't wait to read any of your new stories... |
| Shiranui Akatsuki 2006-06-14 ch 20, | abuseYAY! Charlie DID made an appearance! Your story is great! Let's hope it's not the end yet...I hope... |
| kutelizzy 2006-06-10 ch 2, | abusehey this really sucked... lol! Just kidding. This was so awesome. I ** love it! I only got to read the first 2 or 3 chapters but im going to finsh it for sure. |
| SoulDead 2006-06-04 ch 1, | abusego bloodupdate |
| Shiranui Akatsuki 2006-06-03 ch 14, | abuseWow. This is getting more and more exciting! |
| warewolfalchemist 2006-05-31 ch 13, | abuseOh, you left it off at a good part. I have a feeling this is when Derrick comes in. I still need to tell him about his. Anyway I thought that you were going to put Charlie in the story. I was looking forward to that. I liked the part when bryant was looking at Sally as if she were an angel. Sweet. And more scenes with Brett and Lucy cuddling should be added, maybe a kiss here and there. He he. Maybe more later. Well, that's all I have to say for now. And you really should start proofreadinf yourself. Just a hint. WA |
| Shiranui Akatsuki 2006-05-27 ch 13, | abuseHey, is that Charlie? One of the 2 figures in the hallway, I mean. Anyway, great story! The suspense is killing me! |