I mean to thank all your guys for the reviews. it's really helpful, and I'll certainly keep them in mind when I go back and do the revisions to the final draft.Many, many thanks!

Semicolon needed; "her face lightly; he almost expected" This "The language of the body and mind is so much more powerful." swithces tens eunpleasantly..the names are rather bringing in an angle I did not know you wanted. Pretty good dialogue. I like the description of the wordless talk though, how it is like a battle. Sowly you are falling into something more like a normal novel pace, which I think is good.

whatever it was you had going, this chapter feels disassociated from it. I feel like this chapter came from nowhere and went nowhere. no offense the technical stuff is great, but the story itself was set at a higher bar in the beginning than in this chapter.

After reading a couple of your short story, I was going to ask if you were going to write a multi-chaptered soon, and now I see that you have!

I can't say much about this story right now because I don't have a huge idea on what exactly is going on. I am, however, interested to see what happens, so I will definitely keep watch on this one.

Increasingly interesting. I like "She had that quality to her – She was a figment of his own imagination, in every way, except that everyone else saw her too." Apostraphe missing; "king's turn". I couldn't imagine the location at all, what with all the vague pretty words, untill the soldier clarified that they are in a desert. Good!

Interesting, but the whole mystery is severely overdone. It's fast paced, yet mundane. The descriptions are amazingly abstract and definite, yet I am left wanting more. I hope you add to this, because I'd like to see more and know these characters. But again, the sense of mystery is a bit overdone.

How very strange. Good words; I like the Orchestra concept. What's going on? Continue!