Hmm. You have piqued my curiosity - not the least because I so profoundly identify with the narrator who is going to kill the little girl/self. I like the nuance at the beginning about the little girl being so unrecognizable that the narrator envisions her as her little sister- it brought a little pang of familiarity and regret to my chest. Like the narrator, I have too often - though unintentionally - distanced and objectified myself from the little girl I used to be that fades, naturally, with the incapacity of memory. So congratulations. Though having some slightly awkward stylistic phrasing or stale ideas (such as the ruthlessly outmoded sentence concerning the "soft summer afternoon, while lying in a bed of wildflowers, and watching the butterflies skim across your nose"), You have succeeded in touching my heart - reflecting my own melancholy back at me - in this lovely little gem. Adieu, Kat

I like the changes that goes on, from the drunken state she is in at the beginning to the helpless, screaming woman she is at the end. Its structured is put together well.

this is really well written, in such a small space the reader can already sympthasise with the character. It jus well described, I could almost feel the surroundings you wrote about.