ooh, pretty! so vicious... the harshness of the consonants really draws out the tone... wonderful job! It seems you take more time on your words and structure than the average teenage poet... I commend you. your work is spectacularly brilliant.

honestly.. I love the beginning part before the poem, but the poem itself wasnt your best... btw lacuna coil is awesome

Beautiful... your rhyme is nice, often rhyme seems so forced but this seems so natural. I didn't even notice it at first.Yeah... this poem is just... that. Short, (compared to mine at least. Perhaps mine are just long and yours are normal O.o) but really good, really nice, I like the flow, and anyone will tell you I am hopeless at reviewing -.-;But I like it. I would read more of your stuff right now only I'm being forced off the net by my parents. Great poem, I like!

~Aquila Strife

this is really good! I like your writing and this is no exception to that. Your rhyme is so unique! Great work

~Sorrow~

Love this, its amazing and just really beautiful...i especially love the lines "Like a boy breaks a girl's heart- Innocently at first, Then rips it apart"

So truthful and just plain beautiful. Well done!

Awesome writing. Like all your work. What more do I say? I LOVE it all, but the last bit best of all.

KW

~wolfeh (1.48 in the pm)

I love your writing. I really do. You just write beautifully, and you really form your words into this breathtaking portrait in my mind. I love it! *sigh* Anyways...

"There's no way to begin/To fix all my mistakes,/But I think if I cave,/It'll give more than it takes."

I really liked those lines...and it...well...wait now...well...to me, at first, it seems like, you're saying, that if you cave, then that will just make things worst, so no matter how bad things are, they can always get worse, but there is always a possibility that they will get better, when you face it.

But...then re reading it, it says.."if i cave, It'll GIVE more than it takes."

So are you saying, that then it will help?

well, if you are...I know it can definitly feel like that, and I agree...but in the end, it doesn't always help.

*sigh* I'm so confusing I know, I get so confuzed easily, I'm sorry.

Either way, this poem rocked, I love you're writing.

"There's just no way that this/ Hear could be beating"

Aw...that was sad, but it really tied your poem up really well...I loved this. *keep writing*

Hope you're not feeling sick anymore:( Love you so much! *hugs* see you son! 30 days and my plane takes off..hehe buhbyes!

~brit~

eh, up, love?

WOW leila! this whole poem is great! every stanza has this whole Panic! at the disco- meets- fall out boy feel to it. except its much darker. i love the imagry you used. the flow, the rhyme all work together so well. "and though the doctor says/i have the normal reading/there's just no way that this/ heart could be beating" a cool way to end this piece of work. great job (as always) and KW! ttyl! miss ya lots and lotsa luv!

luv always,~Davida

flatline.

That's such an awesome title... It manages to instantly set the tone for the entire poem. I admit my favorite stanza(?) was the last - how brillaintly fantabolous it was. "There's just no way..." It was a perfect ending to it all.

This flows nicely, and I really like the last verse, it wraps the whole poem up well. I can relate to the emotions in this as well.