Audible violence (SLAP!) belongs in comic books, not serious fiction. Aside from that, I like your characters and what there is of the plot. I hope you continue working on this story.

0.0 kwaadaardig! Mer, mer, meer! En wel zeggen hè, als je update (A)

Oh very exciting so far...is this going to have any supernatural though? I like the start. -adds to favorites-