m, this poem makes me want to cry

no real ryhme sceam, but that doesnt matter at all. it wonderful in its own depressing way.

repetition is helpful in a poem, sometimes it adds balance and makes the peice seem more structured.
makes me think of how the news reports death and that society is so numb to the emotional part of death in which no one mourns the forgotten anymore. (awkward and possibily didn't make sence but I'm trying)
This is getting added to the list.
ML

funny that i happened to read this and it synchronized so perfectly with my mood. i'm reminded why i like your writing so much. your ability to use words to create pain and desperation is sweet as sugarcane.

To write something so lonely must take experiance, no? Call me stupid, but this is very very depressing. that is why it I love it.

Very clear, strong imagry. I like the contrast you made between the life and enregy behind the eyes and the dullness of everything else.

This is very, very blunt. Sometimes straightforward poems are good, but this one seems a bit over-the-top.

Remember that people don't like to be confused, but they don't like to be spoonfed ideas, either.