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| Dove 2006-09-14 ch 1, anon. | abuseThis one haunts me. Well, I feel pressure to get this right. So, if I'm way off...I'll be disappointed in myself. Raven. I've never heard you speak of her before. Or if I have, it's been by a different name. "Raised in middle school", 8th grade I'm assuming? How I would have loved to be around you in that year. It affected you so much, I want to know why. Anyway, back to Raven. You make her sound like a lover in a very abusive and destructive relationship. But she is your destructive side. Your more sexual side. You keep her locked up, "Going back to her dungeon", and try to rid yourself of her. I don't think you can, in all honesty. I think she will be with you forever.But it won't always be a battle... |
| ThisCut-UpAngel 2006-05-09 ch 1,  | abuseI am floored. Powerful and sudden and holy shit..this is going on my faves. |
| Midnight Star Lights 2006-05-08 ch 1, | abuseThis is has depth to it. Well, I think that what you are saying is clear enough that it stay with the reader. GREAT JOB! |
| WickedSilence 2006-05-06 ch 1, | abuseThis is very powerful. I feel the emotion so strongly; it's almost like I can see it sitting next to me. There were only two aspects to your poem I didn't quite like. "Oh, wait, I forgot" seemed abrupt and useless. You don't need it in the poem. If anything, it takes away from the poem's force. And the last stanza seemed disjointed from the rest. Perhaps you should just end the poem at the preceding stanza. I like how the "dungeon" stanza ends on a spiraling note, almost as if the speakrer will follow Raven back into herself. Altogether it's a very good poem. I like it, despite its rather saddening theme. |
| Mariposa2 2006-05-04 ch 1, | abuseI think i'm in love with you...heh, i meant the way you write. |
| in a jar pk 2006-05-04 ch 1, | abuseamazzee as always, mhmm! and you have my permission to borrow anything you like. ;) |
| Artemis Obscure 2006-05-04 ch 1, | abuse/I took herfake heart stringsto sew myselfback shut.They glitter like arsenic,they smell of deceitand abandonment./ That was so creepy and abuse filled. And all that energy behind the whole poem. Wow. |
| eraced 2006-05-04 ch 1, | abusethat's an amazing poem. keep writting. lost in illusion.~erAced~ |