FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 1,  | abuseAlthough I loved the first line for it's origonality - you've got to love the choosing of that phrase: 'the hummingbird's kiss' (spectacular!) - I've got to say I didn't like that line, ONLY because it's something I heard before and it spoiled the uniqueness of the poem for me. Sorry, I'm just being honest. And persnickety. Sorry. 'Beauty left behind'. I like the idea of Beauty being left behind, but I think it would be better if you packaged it differently, maybe Beauty's aftertaste. Nyeh. Maybe I should just shut up. - Clap Trap, from Review Marathon [link in my profile] |
| Amalia Jagd 2006-06-25 ch 1, | abusebeauty left behind... i think thats the perfect way to say it... i loved it! |
| Bonfire Of The Sanities 2006-05-17 ch 1, | abuseDeep and poigniant...very nicely done |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-05-05 ch 1, | abuseVery tangible and well written. Good haiku. |
| burning in effigy 2006-05-04 ch 1, | abuseOh... the first line totally caught my attention... so sweet, and the format is cool... really like how the lines are getting shorter and shorter. Was that a coincidence? |
| Butterfly Disguise 2006-05-04 ch 1, | abuseI'm not a fan of haikus... but that was really really beautiful.~Froggy~ |
| Faithless Juliet 2006-05-04 ch 1, | abuseLoved this. |