Ooh, fun! I personally don't much care for rhyming, seems kinda "grade-schoolish" to me, but I gotta say, you do it quite well :) You keep a rhyming pattern going but you don't allow it to restrict you. I also really like the twist :) The only thing I didn't like is the first line, and the one about your limbs. Firstly because I think they are just sort of over simplified. Much of the rest of the poem is made up of similies and metaphors that are written very much in a poetic style, but those two lines just sort of seem like really simple comparisons that a child could make. Not to insult you at all, though. This poem is still really cool and insightful.