FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Blinking In Astonishment 2008-03-04 ch 1,  | abuseIt beats. |
| sueb262 2006-05-05 ch 1, | abuseI loved the pattern of this, the play on the word "burning", and the way it all crashed in on itself at the end. |
| burning in effigy 2006-05-05 ch 1, | abuseLike the repetition... but the ending kind of confused me. If the heart has been burned away, how is there a shell left? Maybe I'm missing something, but I loved the line "Burning/Away the superficiality" very lovely |
| Robin Siskin 2006-05-05 ch 1, | abuseI'm not fond of the line breaks here, but I think you have some lovely imagery here, and it conveys the..euh..aftermath of love quite well. I don't know exactly what to do about the line breaks, though. There's not much to do besides what you've done. |