This is very engaging. It took a little while to get in step with your narrative technique, but after I was comfortable with it, I liked the story. It's cool that the narrator could either actually be a kid, or a ghost of a kid who really got killed in the fire. The former theory is for people who can't do a "close reading" and the latter is for cool people like us. Because we rock. The ending of this story is tragic but satisfying--we get a child who gives up completely, and a mother who will never give up at all. My one suggestion is that you might want to consider making the child younger. With a twelve year old I'd be like, "Yeah, that little bastard knew what he was doing." With an eight year old I'd be more sympathetic. That's my recommendation, unless this story is autobiographical... in which case you're weird :) . That's my one suggestion: put that kid into a reverse aging machine. Nice job on this.

Thanks for reviewing "The Flea." Seriously, that's one of my better parodies, and very few people take the time to read it.

I think this would make a great prolouge for another story if you wan'y to devlop the idea further other that that my only complaint that it was much to short