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| The Love Love Queen 2006-10-31 ch 2,  | abuseI envy your writing skills. I really liked it, and I felt bad for the girl; but at the same time, I don't feel bad for her because it's pretty much what she wants. |
| Chocolate Ninj4 2006-09-04 ch 2, | abuseIt was just so... sad. Not really what I expected (not in a bad way, though). I was expecting something more like Strawberry Lubricant, though I knew it would be twisted. It was very good. It reminded me of how great a writer you are. Especially at this sentence: "Quite on the contrary, he was dressed in common-folk clothing (as he referred to it) with a clean shaven face and wash, trimmed hair which still fell upon his shoulders in a choppy fashion." I don't know why. |
| chocolatetuna 2006-08-03 ch 2, | abuseYou have such unique ideas. I love your writing. ^_~ When he was attaching his mouth to the man's throat, you forgot the apostrophe in "man's" Heh. Black and white and red all over. That's a rather interesting spin-off on the old joke. Well done. *laughs* "Lost in my thoughts of this he almost vanished" this seems a bit awkward. You might want to rephrase this. "He slain before my eyes" should be "slayed" or "had slain" His lips were sewn together? That's horrible. O_O "I never paid mine to them" - um, I think this should be "never paid any mind to them" That's so sad and yet so sweet in a rather twisted way. Beautiful plot. I love the character's thoughts and feelings. I like how he manages to see kindness in this murderer. It's very . . . noir, maybe? Just be sure to watch your sentence construct. Update soon! xchoco |
| Limited Edition 2006-05-25 ch 2, | abuseOh oh! I LOVE THIS! KYA It was a bit hard to get into it, the beginning I mean, it went slow. But I love love love the narrators character. He's so inspiring and beautiful! I can't wait for the real story to be posted. I can't wait for more! I'll kill you if you don't post! Ah well, maybe not kill, but I'll cry! It was a bit hard to grasp just what Madison was too. Great job! (Hohoho I'm putting this to favorites!) |
| chibi suppi 2006-05-13 ch 2, | abuseI liked it... it was cute? Is that a good word for this? lol It's sad how much she loves him yet expected that he couldn't know... ~suppi |
| afk 2006-05-11 ch 2, | abusei like you're stories allot because i can always picture the characters, and well in this one it took me a bit the madison and spyder and girl (?) with the swen mouth. but that |
| Kimmi Gray 2006-05-10 ch 2, | abuseAh unrequented love is great isn't it... (not really but it makes a lovely poetic and literary device). I loved this and can't wait for the next one. Bravo! |