I don't often see poetry I like that uses no punctuation, but I think it works out in this. Makes it easy to interpret in many many different ways.

Great writing! Keep it up ^_^

I can see the powerful emotions that you had in your mind while you were writing this poem .. (: It's nice, but if you want my opinion, the character seems to be more confused than anything else. But maybe that's what you wanted to stand out, and if so, then you did an excellent job. Great work, keep on writing!