|Reviews for Morning Cigarette|
| heyitsstupidme 8/6/12 . chapter 10
This was so plotless...
I like Matte and Ash.
| Savana Moon 7/27/12 . chapter 3
how do u pronounce nietzsche? and for some reason i picture matte looking like billy from jane by design.
matte is pronounsed like mat right?
| Sam 2/29/12 . chapter 10
So he didn't love him, he was just lusting/obsessing/jealousallthetime? LAWLZ. Silly boys. So was Ash's reciprocating horniness REALLY what he had to tell him? Confusion be my name. Anyway, I did like the humor in this and the gayness/alternative stuff he's going through.
| Sam 2/29/12 . chapter 3
I might still keep my intelligence even though I skip a lot, but not everybody are like me XD
But no, I seriously like this story. Very angsty and in denial which suits my image of him just fine. And Ash? Lookin forward to seeing more of him.
| 808 5/7/11 . chapter 10
that is greatness i enjoyed reading
| Luce-Juice 8/9/10 . chapter 10
woah i was not expecting that ! :0
| Luce-Juice 8/9/10 . chapter 3
i really like this story , gna go now and read the rest !
| anon.anonny. mus 7/17/10 . chapter 10
That.. was.. Weird in an okäy way?
| Crimson Dizzy 7/9/09 . chapter 6
Killer last line. I laughed so hard.
I'm wondering if Ash and Matte will actually get together. At first it was like "They will" but now it's like "Will they?"
Plotless can be good, you know, a bit like an acid trip. Stories with every set detail planned in advance tend not to be as good, because the author needs thinking space! Next chapter...
| Crimson Dizzy 7/9/09 . chapter 5
I love Matte's clumsiness...so damn relatable.
I now realise the trade marks are for humour. I am stupid. My particular sense of humor doesn't find that aspect of the story that funny, but others will.
I don't really have anything bad to say, which is why this review is short.
| Crimson Dizzy 7/9/09 . chapter 4
Well, I don't have a dick but you described it well enough so I could feel the pain...ouch.
There seems to be some developing sexual tension between Ash and Matte. And then there's Robert, just bopping along and being cool on the side.
I found this chapter particularly funny, especially lines such as, "I'm lying on my bed, poking my belly button and staring at the dirt that gathers under my fingernails" and '“Borrowing” means creaming someone with promises of giving it back and so on, until they give in. Of course the promise is never carried out. If you do carry it out, then you're an Ultra Idiot.'
Great job, onto chapter 5!
| Crimson Dizzy 7/9/09 . chapter 3
Ah, I really love the last line. Very sweet and really displays their relationship well.
Poor Matte, he just loves Ash doesn't he? Well, he definitly loves Ash's body anyway.
I forgot to mention the perfectness of the title. It's just brilliant, so simple yet has so much relevance to the story.
I need to read on now!
| Crimson Dizzy 7/9/09 . chapter 2
You don't have to put the trademarks on every brand, you know. It's kinda annoying. Just put a disclaimer in an author's note if you must.
So the story's set in Sweeden? Good idea, nice to see a setting besides an American high school for once.
"I say, just to step inbetween them." In between shoulld be two seperate words.
I like Ash, he has personality. As for Matte, I love how his feelings for Ash are portrayed so humorously yet so realistically. His jealousy is funny. On to the next chapter!
| Crimson Dizzy 7/9/09 . chapter 1
"I'm lesbian," should be "I'm a lesbian," unless Camilla isn't a native English speaker or that's just her mannerism.
You seem to slip out of present and past tense somewhat. I don't know if this is on purpose or not.
"My sister often gets like that when she has her menstruation. It was...a sight." Very funny line but I think it would sound better if you changed 'gets' to 'got' or 'It was' to 'it is' or given another sentance between the two lines, as it just doesn't sound right to me.
"It's one of those artsy 50's retro styled cheap IKEA stuff that my mom bought sometime in her last life." I think stuff is plural so it doesn't fit. 'Things' would fit more.
You're pace is a bit quick. You could have maybe added a few extra paragraphs here and there to slow it down slightly.
Besides all that nit-picking, I found this to be a promising 's attitude really comes across well in this chapter, I feel like I know him already. He's certainly not a Gary-Stu, anyway! He's also not a girl with a penis, which is also a good thing. I do like is sharp, witty observations and look forward to reading more about him.
| Hallway Rat 6/4/09 . chapter 10
I love this story. It's.. real, or maybe it's just my style, Nasty Punk isn't somthing you find often.
I've read it twice.