this was good. i liked the lines "i cannot seem to move when i thin about you"and "i just want to let you out of heaven, i just want to let you into hell." nice structure in your poetry.

This is really good. I like the repetition! The part that talks about lighting their pain on fire i thought "pain" said "pants" so i was confused! Nice poem i like it!

I like this. It has this raw edge to it that makes it stand out. "I just want to let you out of heaven/ I just want to let you into hell/ I just want to light you pain on fire" the chorus, I'm assuming? Very powerful stuff. I would love to hear the tune.

Hmm...okay...but the grammar is a little off...

Ex: "I just want to let put into hell"

I like this a lot.. I really like the "let you out of heaven" part.

Harsh. Images are a bit hard to grasp, though. 'Pain on fire?' Anyways the originals are called Photographs and Composition, they're older so scroll down.

Niceness, It was really deep...sorta...in away...IT JUST WAS! Keep it up, man.

I ike your piece. It's too bad we all have that one thing that makes us feel this way, even if we tried to burry it many years ago...

"I just want to let you out of heaven

I just want to let you into hell"-these two lines reminded me of Taking Back Sunday which is a good thing because they are one of my favorite bands. Nice job for your first song.

-Dreamer

I really like this... don't ask me why I dunno. I just like it a lot. Keep writing!

Black and White Dreams