Absolutely stunning! Your description is perfect and I LOVE it!

That was so beautiful. You have gorgeous imagery.

This was my favorite stanza:
"She says
let’s take our spoons and
sample the crystallized moon;
we’ll dig the craters deeper
and hollow out a place to sit
where we can watch the naked fireflies
that streak across the dark at the
speed of light
and we’ll rename the constellations
and watch the earthrise at dawn."


I can't even begin to say how much I loved that.
You have immense talent!



I would love opinions from a talented writer like yourself on my work, it would mean a lot.

Wonderful poem. I loved the use of language, especially the phrase "unzipped the sand." It's just one of those phrases that jumps out at you and sticks with you. Great job.

This is really wonderful. I love your use of language and simile in this piece. I can't complain (which is something new). Well done.

Decaf poetry... nice.

Haha, decaf poetry. What a chuckle. So, yeah, onto the poem. Another good job. (No fair! You ALWAYS do a good job!) I loved the first stanza A LOT, but I must say, the rest of the poem didn't retain the same magic that the first stanza did. But the rest of the poem definitely wasn't short of beautiful metaphors, 'stormy clouds are origami' - love it!, and flowing imagery and just basically very awesome writing. So keep it up! (You always do)

The images are so STARK, origami clouds, unsipping the sand, sample chrystalized moon, it all so ** BEAUTIFUL adn the only way to express this without telling you face to face is to sear my ** off. This is ** awsome, like watching thw world from space, i mean, who on earth thinks of it as 'unzipping sand' it's genius, every line of it is pure ** gold.

Peace out, it's remarkable, you're remarkable, Kenzie

I like it, makes you think

Decaf poetry. I like it. Although, to add some rhythm and flow like the poem suggests (flow meaning the whole amorphous thing), I would recommend making the lines shorter.

This is a beautiful poem. Keep writing.

Chandra-Moon:You're right, 13 o'clock bothers me here too, it doesn't fit the rhythm of the rest of the poem. Thanks SO much for saying so. I shall change it. :)

When I implied that you were British it's because I was mixing you up with Copernicus 1543 -- I'd been reading both of you simultaneously and I forgot who was who. :)

Wow. I really like this, very much, your decaf poetry. Of course, I'm always a sucker for brilliantly written poems about nature with lovely images, so I guess you're just a cheater. Everything from the beginning to the end was wonderful. You've been holding out on us!

The only thing I didn't like was "thirteen o'clock" (because I can never be satisfied. I dunno, I know why you used it, because of the Cindrella thing, but it's just one of those phrases that annoys me.

On a side note, I got the feeling from one of your reviews that you thought I was British? I'm not, I live in Florida. That made me laugh, though.

Again, good job.

A beautiful poem. I haven't seen one so vivid in ages.