I liked it, actually. I think the choppy style adds to the idea of a bug's thought (honestly, would a bug think smoothly?). You set moods beautifully in your works, and I love how the last stanza brings us back out of the poem just enough to see the whole. The only bad thing I really have to say is that the penultimate line of the first stanza really doesn't fit. I know what you were trying to do - reference the bug's blindness - but it comes off as excessive.

Still, great work!

First, I really think you haven't a problem with descriptive style of writing. You're an artist at it.

Second, I'm afraid this piece confused me.

It's caterpillar to butterfly, not butterfly to caterpillar. When the butterfly is coming out of its cocoon, it really doesn't look disgusting. Just all scrunched up and damp-looking. Unless something went wrong and it emerged when the metamorphosis wasn't done yet or something.

Usually when you break up lines in the way you've broken them up, things should flow a bit better. As it is, it's kind of hard to read out loud, and a bit boring to read to oneself.

The idea itself is quite lovely, but I'm not fond of the execution. Choppiness can be good, but when something is choppy, it should be fast-paced, and this wasn't really fast paced. It just felt like the pacing was off and it didn't have much of a flow. But that's just me.

Wow. Yeah, that was rather creepy... Delightful use of imagery! Like, it seemed to paint a picture in my mind! ^.^'

The first 2 and a half lines of the last paragraph struck me as odd, but overall, it was beautifully morbid.