This is brilliant. At first glance it seems simple, almost plain, but given the right amount of attention, you can truly begin to appreciate the way the words fit together--seamlessly, like a real poem should. There's a strict regard to detail and suspense. And even after all that careful contemplation, you can simply lean back and let the choosy phrases roll over you. Too much imagery packed into one itty-bitty poem can be a real killer, but you avoid that perfectly. I can't say that I love (what I suspect is) the stylization, though. To me, a lack of capitalization is unprofessional.

Wow. You truly are a genius when it comes to the art of writing. When I first read this poem, I was a bit confused with the italics and parentheses, but after reading the untouched text and the italicized text, I finally got the meaning. Even though these two can be read as separate poems, I love the way you intertewined them to show the true meaning of both. Amazing job. I hope to see more poems and stories.

~ h.b.h

Abstract, to be sure, but very effective. I liked the surprise ending, and the conversational style adds even more to the already-chilling mood. However, I'm not quite sure if the stuff in the parentheses is meant to be separate from the other lines or not; the line gets a bit blurred, and I just realized that you can actually read both as separate poems. Did you do that on purpose, or not? If so, you're a genius, but unless you were trying to make it ambiguous, you should probably make the separation a bit clearer. If you weren't trying to do it, well...um, good job?

Anyway, the poem as a whole is fantastic, I just wasn't quite sure of your intentions - which, with a work like this, may be your intention! Who knows?

Okay... that was actually scary. ... Did the secret teller kill?

ooh. dichotomies are such fun... death and love, and love and death... sounded like a poem-within-a- poem. if this makes any sense whatsoever... kinda made me shiver... good job.

took me a moment to figure out.. nicely done...OMG she's gonna kill me O.O;;

the style is great...

i like the leaning closer scene which made it more realistic and vivid to the mind...

the tone is eerie to start with and that's great, then comes the 'i love you' part which topples off the suspense with sweetness... then ends with death... i like it... such great twists and turns...

keep up the good work!

* ner *

oh WOW! I love this so much. Its beautifully written and the italic and normal writing work really effectively. The last line made me shiver... its scary but its such an awesome concept. Anyway, love it. awesome work!

i started skipping the italicized lines, then the word "love" stuck out at me.. and im like wait... then read the whole thing again. haha i like that trick!

but i dont get the meaning of it. theres love, then theres death. i dont get it.