Great story, keep up the good work?

Well, I must say that I loved completelly the story. Couldn't stop reading 'till I got to the very end.

But I do have a few sugestions, as you asked to make it better.

First thing I think you should go trough is the mispelluings and such. The break the rythim of the read. In the start of the story you could possibly work better the dynamics of the Pets and the Prides. And also explain better the rules and such.

One thing that got me confused was the fact that you always say that all the Pride and all the Pets are in Art after lunch, but in later chapters you introduce a rupture in half, as each half take care of the richer and the poorer part of the town, and their personalities. It got a lil' confusing. And, maybe you should exploit a sidestory with the otherside of the Pets and Pride, with Valerian too.

Another detail the bothered me. The surname of Duke. When he is hospitalized and Alan goes to see him its Paterson, and in his graduation is another one completelly.

But its an awesome story with lots of potential. You should invest in it, and, think on that side story ^~

kisses

Dany

You have probably already heard this alot, but then again maybe i missed something when i was reading. It went straight from the thing with doc. dad to someting about wearing costumes...other than that..i cant wait to see what happens to Alan...this is a great story :D

Here's a sudgestion to make the story a little more interesting. Put the epilogue in the begining and make it as if they really are telling a story on how Puppy, A.K.A. Alan, saved the pets and got his nickname, then make a different Epilogue for the ending.

And something else that you all ready know, the spelling and grammer would really make it better also.

I really liked it though. Can't wait to see it in book form, I'll be the first one to buy it unless you send me one. ^_^

If you want my real name send me a PM and I'll give it to you. ^_^

I'll read the rest tomorrow, but for now it's bed time. Very good so far though. ^_^

I'll read more tomorrow. But this story is really good. Just marking where I left off.

I'm glad Duke is ok and now out of the hospital, I'm also Glad that Alan patched things up with his parents, though I'm a little upset that Alan wont be living with Alan any more. Though I'm making this quick and only marking where I left off. ^_^

So far so good. I like it. Just reviewing to mark my spot. Really wish I had started reading this while you were writing though. lol

That was a pretty sweet chapter. Funny ending though. lol

Again just a short review to mark my spot. I'll read more tomorrow.

Hey. Like the story so far. Would review more but right now I'm just reviewing to mark my spot. I'll read more in a little bit.

I really like this story. It's a very original concept. I like the fact that Duke and Alan ended up together, and had kids, but I wonder what happened to Cain. He played a big part in the story and you didn't really tell what happened to him. Good luck on getting this published.

aw, this chappy was really cute...even if it was a bit lengthy with what he was saying.

my favorite line:

and it slowly lulled me to , not proof read.

but yeah, this was really in need of proofreading.

the chappys are starting to get really simple. but i guess every story has its more...drawn out points. X3

okay, i know that they just had a tender moment and theyre starting to understand each other better but...A BIT FAST!