After reading a few of your poems, i have to admit you do have a talent. I always thought it very hard to bring up imagery in a poem let alone amazing imagery like the first paragraph of this poem. I know I'm not using the proper terms in poetry but I'm not a poet. But you should get back to writing. You almost make me wanna write. But then I'd only look like a faint shadow in your brilliance of a poet. I won,t stop reading now. Maybe I'll hit a happy poem..:P

You have such interesting and beautiful phrasing in here - my favorite line would have to be "so play us a dirge, pretty violin girl." I love that this is chock full of this muted imagery - there are a lot of visuals, but they're all these dark colors, so it's hard to see everything clearly. That's so nice. I'm sad that you're not posting anymore here, because this is wonderful. Keep writing! :)

There are images in here that I've only thought of putting, but could never find the place.

card castles, cleanliness, violin girl (which I read and then sat stunned)

As for improvements, I seriously would be doing nothing but throwing in personal opinions, which obviously have no basis.

But I can still pick out tones and moods. The poem presents a phatasmic feeling. It doesn't feel concrete or there, but rather floating and unattached.

And, in line 3, the "falls to die" feels awkward.

I applaud your gusto in trying to relearn poetry.

I just used gusto in a sentence, oh myI think there is some epidemic of heavy poetry block that just pulls everyone down to the level of "I don't want to write."

There's a decent comment in there somewhere. I think. I need to get more sleep.

~l (or something)

I agree with Aimee Raven. I especially like how the title seems to tie in with the poem and what you're going through. "remember you"...it sounds like you're chasing after an essence of something you had once, and you're trying to break free and find it again, which is how I interpreted the poem. Beautifully done.

Believe me, you may have 'forgotten' to write poetry the way you did before, but what you write now is no less brilliant...an entirely new insight into existance, life, or whatever the reader's interpretation may be...your choice of words is always impeccable, your rhyming subtle, the flow clear and harmonious...I'd say this poem were perfect, but that would probably be a flaw...the thoughts you cast are disturbing and very sad, like a call for help. Please continue writing, this is truly fantastic, I would not encourage you otherwise. On the other hand, I feel your 'pain', as I can no longer write poetry :-(, though I think you certainly can! Love, Mia