This story is striking. It's short - too short, because it leaves me wanting more, but it's short enough, because it doesn't drag on unnecessarily. The beginning felt a little satirical and threw me off while simultaneously keeping me interested. But as I read on and got to know Leon, I was able to see him and smell him ("citra-shine"), and it made him real to me.

Really beautiful writing. Is it based on a true story? If it is, Leon will live forever in this story.

Wow. I absolutely love this piece. It is so straightforward yet portrays a whole spectrum of emotions. Amazing work. I love the irony.

x( so sad

Nice one

I read this a great while ago, but I had never gotten around to reviewing it I guess. But anyway, I can't even begin to understand why there are only 4 reviews, because I really loved this. The way that you write is what got me reading at first, and then the (short) story itself is what kept me. Very emotional, sad, nostalgic, brilliant. Good Job :)

This is beautiful and sad. A collection of memories written brilliantly.

that is, in fact, beautiful.
this story takes you somewhere real
oh look at me, being all sentimental now
look what you did.

This made me breath hitch a few notches. I don't know why its got 1 review when it deserves so much more.

I love the way you write. Its sort of like rather than a direct, structured narrative its more a fluid recount of memories and past experiences. I really love it when people write like that, stitch together thoughts and feelings to make something as beautiful as this.

It was very sad. Sad because of her falling asleep in his bed after reading his journals, sad because she saw his ghost. It really did tug a little at my chest, because it is written in such a nostalgic, desperate kind of way. I really think you have managed to capture the sadness of the girl, as well as the indifference of everyone else (the parents not being around, the doctors not being able to do anything).

Very moving, going to fav it :)

I like how eclectic this feels; not really a story (per say) but more of a recollection of memories sewn together by her presence in Leon's room, as well as his ghost appearing to her. I really like your creation of 'holyland' and hiding in the little 'Bethlehem village' it's like of like Disneyland for the evangelicals. As usually I love the worlds you create, and I remember Leon from some of your other works. Great job with this; the worlds you create are infinite and always a wild ride to read through.

Much love,Juliet.