|Reviews for Trapped Behind Time|
| With Rhyme and Reason 7/10/06 . chapter 1
Interesting lament for mankind's lack of imagination and rejection of creativity. I'm not madly in love with your structure, here. It seems that you're trying a four-beats-per-line thing, but that often devolves into five or six or three or two beat thing. Come now, work on that structure.
It reminds me vaguely of W.B. Yeat's poem "The Stolen Child": "Come away, O human child! / To the waters and the wild / With a faery, hand in hand, / For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand." Yeats, because of his rhyme scheme and hint of meter, gives us a breath-taking poem of amazingness. I hate to say this, but your "Trapped Behind Time" falls into the gray zone of bleak mediocrity. It's magical, but the sparks of magic are extinguished by a lack of control. I'm disappointed here because you show so much poetic restraint and talent in your other pieces.
| S. R. Devaste 5/23/06 . chapter 1
A little to blatant for the mystical subject matter could do with some more embillishments, though I suppose if you are going to go minimalist, cut all unessary words.
| Ardis Edanna 5/22/06 . chapter 1
a pity isn't it? ardis