(This is Mazinkaiser from Muse Bunny)

... The world is in need of more stories critical of vampires. I salute you for your efforts, kind sir. That doesn't mean they have to be utterly amoral creatures, I made incubi and succubi sympathetic enough after all, but I'm sick and tired of people shilling them and showing them to pretty much be perfect in every way.

A few bits of advice though. Go for longer chapters and put more energy into characterization. Vincent's really not that appealing right now, simply because we know so little about him.

It's also kind of unrealistic to simply impale someone with a wooden stake. The rib cage is in the way and humans really don't have the power to just pierce it in one go. That's usually why a hammer goes along with the stake.

... Then again, I had someone impale someone in the heart with two pieces of metal, so what do I know?

Anyways, this has potential. Just really flesh it out. Give us a grasp of the setting, introduce us to more characters, explore the relationship between Vincent and Alexia, etc. Best of luck.

Hm...vampire massacre? Did you read bout that or something?(Man curiosity is killing me right now...sory for all the random questions...)It's coming along good...


-Vampriss2

Hm...kind of sad beginning but, good so far...(Um...I know this is kind of random but, you ever heard of the Legend Of Zelda cause, your story title is the title of one of the song on one of the games...sory bit of a geek...)Well anyways keep up the good work...with your other stories too...


-Vampriss2

*gasp* ohh, pleaseplease update?

ooh...

wow I just love this story, it has passion and hate ^__^ update soon please!

Vampires rock my freaking socks! This story is extremely interesting and don't ever get bored of writing it or I'll kill you!! :) I love you JD!

-Heather

Great start with this; the complexities of the beginning were so strong - it makes me wonder why so many of them were being burned. I really enjoyed the romance between the two as well - and the scene on the hill with the kiss, I loved the detail that you put into that, I could really see all that was going on. Really interesting work here, it makes me want to know more. I hope she revives Vincent. Keep up the good work, and update soon.

Much love,Juliet.